Why Writers Need to Support Writers
Greetings and salutations Scribblers!
I’m Katie, founder and CEO of The Scribbler’s Den and today we’re talking about writing friends. When I interview authors, they all say the same thing–finding your writing people and investing in those friendships are what has kept them going and allowed them to navigate the rough seas of the publishing industry.
Personally, I’m a big friendship person–friendships are my top tier number one relationship status. Having those intimate emotional and mental relationships is so important to my mental and emotional health. It allows me to relax, take a deep breath, and know that even when I’m not at my greatest, I’m still loved and supported. So, how does this impact writing?
I have people in my life who aren’t writers who’ve read my manuscripts and they have politely asked me about my writing and how it’s going. But they don’t get it. I can tell them that I’ve spent a year writing this, but that doesn’t sink in with them the way it does with another writer. The non-writer envisions me happily sitting in front of my keyboard tapping away at the keys to create my masterpiece. The fellow writer knows that’s only a fraction of the process. They envision the tears, the hours spent staring into to space to figure out a plot hole, cursing my characters because yet again, they aren’t following my suggestions.
And that makes a huge difference. It makes me feel seen in a very different way. And this is why it’s important to have friends in your writing space. Getting that support and validation from them hits different because they get it.
The specific understanding that another writer brings to the table is so valuable to me whether I’m celebrating a win or struggling with a piece of the story. I can talk through that moment without having to explain the process and, because we all have our own methods, I’m likely to get some great suggestions and support that will help me unlock my creativity.
It’s absolutely magical.
Another benefit of having writer friends is providing space for vulnerability. Writing is a very vulnerable process. We’re revealing pieces of ourself word by word on the page and when we get critique or rejection, it can feel very personal. Your writing friends are there to help! When I start to feel the inklings of imposter syndrome, my friends are right there with their spray bottles saying NO. YOU ARE NOT AN IMPOSTER and then reminding me of the amazing things in my writing.
For rejection, it’s a given that when I get a pass on a query or one of my friends gets a pass on a submission we immediately respond with some version of “their loss, too bad they can’t recognize how brilliant of a writer you are.” To clarify, it’s a platitude and we have the utmost respect for agents and editors, but in the moment, comforting each other is more important.
And knowing my writing friends are going to respond with some version of how batty the publishing professional is for not offering rep or a book deal is incredibly satisfying. Because again, they get it. They’ve had their own close calls and have experienced the same emotional turmoil.
It’s not always fun and games. You’re going to watch your writing friends sell books, be agented, or have opportunities that you’re not getting. And that can be difficult, but having those discussions with your writing friends is incredibly important. I have a lot of writing friends who are published and agented and it can hard to not be jealous sometimes, but we discuss those things and my rule is that I want to be there to support and comfort no matter what my personal writing status is. Because I love seeing them succeed! It’s the Shine Theory I talked about in a previous video. When one of us gains momentum, the rest of us rise up too. And that was something I had to unlearn a bit as I entered into writing–my instinct, the way society had taught me behave was that everything was a competition. Through the help of my amazing writing friends, I’ve shifted that viewpoint and I’m much happier being part of a community that lifts each other up.
Finding your writing community is going to be its own journey. Of the many writers I’ve interacted with over my 12 years of being dedicated to my writing, I have two writers that I’ve grown incredibly close with. We travel together, we have a group chat. It’s a writing space where I can be fully vulnerable and find support in every facet of the journey. And we’ve become friend friends as well, which is even more amazing.
I also have more tertiary writing friends. We don’t interact as often, but we still fiercely support and encourage. We’ll jump in to read through a scene and offer feedback or console or congratulate each others publishing news.
Which brings me to my final talking point–just like any healthy relationship, it takes dedication and communication. It means showing up for your friends when they need it and lifting each other up along the way. Finding your writing community can feel difficult in a world where social media and text messages are the common forms of communication. But you can still make meaningful connections. Those two writing friends I mentioned earlier? I found both of them on Twitter back when Twitter was a hub for writers. And we live in opposite corners of the country, but we stay in touch. A day doesn’t go by when we don’t chat in our DMs.
Find your community, reach out and comment on a thread or Instagram post. Tell people you love the snippet they posted or the aesthetic they made for their novel, you never know, it might lead to a magnificent writing friendship that will help you to keep going when publishing gets tough.
Alright Scribblers, I’ve made some posts on Instagram, Facebook, and Bluesky inviting people to introduce themselves and find some community! Head over to your platform of choice and tell us what you write and read and let’s help each other find our people!
See you next time, Happy Writing Scribblers.
As always, your mileage may vary! If you have any tips for recognizing burnout before it takes over completely, please drop those in the comments below.
Consisting of five sections, this course will include strategies for revising characters, plot, pacing, and worlding building. It also includes resources for copyediting and for gaining insight into your manuscripts theme and purpose
