Filter Words & Why You Should Avoid Them
Greeting and salutations Scribblers!
In today’s blog we’re going to tackle something I see in a lot of early drafts–including mine: filter words.
So, lets take a look at what filter words are, why you should avoid them, and some ways you can train your brain to rewrite sentences that use filter words.
Filter words are words that are used to indicate who is experiencing something. He heard, she saw, they looked, I smelled…, etc. Each of these is indicating a specific point of view and then telling the reader how they noticed the forthcoming details. This is something you’ll often see in early drafts or in the writing of someone who is still fairly new to the craft. They may seem straightforward–the writer is informing the reader of what the character is seeing or hearing. But every time you use a filter word, you’re also reminding the reader that they’re reading a story and that has the potential to bump them out of the narrative and cause them to disengage with the story.
And that Scribblers, is not what any writer wants. Whether you’re in first or 3rd point of view, your goal is for the reader to experience the story firsthand. To fall so completely into it, they keep turning pages and have them internalize the emotions and reactions of the character on the page. By using filter words, you’re reminding them that they aren’t the person in the story.
Now, there are times when using filter words is the correct choice–when you want to emphasize that the character is looking at or hearing something, but for most of the time, you want to avoid reminding the reader that they’re reading a book.
When we’re in a character’s POV, the reader assumes that any descriptions of what they see, hear, or feel is coming from them, so you don’t need to explicitly say it.
As a bonus, you have the potential to cut out a nice chunk of words from your manuscript.
Let’s look at a few examples and how you could potentially rephrase them.
Example #1:
ORIGINAL:
Finian decided it was time to show them who they were dealing with.
REWRITE:
It was time to show them who they were dealing with.
This one was simple. All we had to do was delete the “Finian decided” and everything else could stay as it was. The new version reads smoother and keeps us grounded in Finian’s perspective. The “Finian decided” was implied.
Example #2:
ORIGINAL:
In the flash of lightning I saw the rain pelting the window.
REWRITE:
The flash of lightning illuminated the rain pelting the window.
This was a bit more of an elaborate rewrite. I wanted to keep the emphasis on how the lightning was what made the rain on the window visible. Because I couldn’t just take the “I saw” out of the sentence, I had to find a word that would indicate making something visible.
Example #3
ORIGINAL:
The temperature had risen quickly. It was over 100 now. They felt their t-shirt cling to their sweaty skin.
REWRITE:
The temperature had risen quickly. It was over 100 now. Sweat ran in rivulets down their back, their shirt clinging to their skin like cellophane.
Alright, this one was another more elaborate rewrite–By removing the “they felt” I was able to give even more details to really create that visceral feeling of a sweaty t-shirt sticking to skin. I could have just taken out the “they felt” and changed the verb tense from cling to clung, but it was more fun to dive into the description and make it visceral for the reader.
These were just three examples. Once you’ve finished your draft, I suggest going back through using the Control F feature. Search for heard, saw, look, feel , etc and take the time to remove that filter word and rewrite each sentence.
And don’t forget, this isn’t a hard and fast rule. There are times when you want to emphasize what the character might be experiencing. Those should be few and far between though and will mostly often occur during a pivotal moment for the character.
Here’s a list of ten filter words to delete from your manuscript:
Saw
Heard
Thought
Felt
Realized
Wondered
Noted
Decided
Seemed
Watched
See you next time Scribblers! Happy Writing!
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